Ten reasons why we love you:
1. Your enduring legacy, even among those who never met you.
2. Your beautiful smile.
3. The signs that still come, like the agapanthus blooming this morning in the yard.
4. How each place in my small town holds memories of you: the park, the bus stop, the pool.
5. The stories we tell [...]
About loss: it doesn’t ever go away. I suppose that’s its very definition, yes? Absence, emptiness, the void. All the opposite of presence, solidity. But the loss of a person isn’t true loss, because there are memories, objects, history, and this, I think, is why loss keeps going and never stops. An earring gone in [...]
Nine reasons why I still love my son:
1. His magical laugh.
2. The lessons he taught.
3. How he was always in such a hurry.
4. The way he wielded his cane like a weapon. Watch out bananas.
5. All the lives he touched every day.
6. That he made me into a fighter, for real.
7. His legacy, in hummingbirds, [...]
On this day, I’d like to share what a dear friend said when he spoke at Evan’s funeral. His words remind me of the divinity in all things, and life’s eternal, unchanging nature. I’ve been seeing hummingbirds all week. I think they’d want me to send this message.
If we can have an experience of ourselves [...]
A friend expressed her condolences about the impending anniversary of Evan’s death by invoking this comforting yiddish word. It’s one to me that embodies sorrow, the way it comes from the back of the mouth to the tongue, and yet also deep feeling, by virtue of that long “r” in its middle. With the yahrzeit, [...]
Of all my teachers (many), and all my education (very high end, of this I can assure you), my most enduring lessons have come from my son. From him I learned: grace, compassion, empathy, patience, love. I learned these in all dimensions, too, not just their superficial forms. The patience of [...]
I’ve been all-consumed by some recent new work that has taken me deep into a hospital setting. Yes, this work is of my volition, and it’s something that will hopefully allow me to make some money in the future, as well as help people. But in this time, in the hospital, I have, of course, [...]
A few weeks ago, the Husband suggested I might add a page to the site about Evan, by way of explanation or memorial, so that readers don’t just go from July 20 and my musings about BlogHer to the abrupt notice of Evan’s death. It’s in me, somewhere, this post or memorial–there’s an epilogue in [...]
Each year at the end of October, our school district has a teacher buy back day in the middle of the week. On this day, many kids from our town head to Disneyland for the day. Two years ago, the Husband still worked for Mickey Inc., and so Evan, Gloria, Josie and I visited the [...]
Evan’s favorite park, the one up the street he learned to navigate so competently, stands in full sun most of the year. In the winter, the swings are tolerable, as is the play structure, but come summer the place is nearly uninhabitable for most of the day. The sun is so fierce, the swings and [...]
Winner of the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference Bakeless Nonfiction Prize. Visit the book's website or Facebook group to learn more.
A new anthology from Woodbine House, co-edited with Kyra Anderson. Head over to the book's website to learn more.
I'm a writer, a teacher, a mother and an advocate for people with disabilities. You can learn more about me and my work here.
