When Evan died, a friend gave us a lovely Japanese magnolia tree to plant in our yard. The tree came to us in bloom, with tender white blossoms and delicate green leaves. I kept it in a pot that fall and winter, watching my yard’s light to find exactly the right spot with the proper amount of open shade. That spring, I thought I found a spot, and put it in the ground, only to discover that the tree was too much in the sun, all day. The leaves burnt, then fell off. After a week, I dug a new hole and hoped I’d remedied the problem.
The tree survived briefly, sprouting some new buds and leaves, but by September the leaves had turned again–first yellow, then red, then brown–only to fall. Each day I felt the tree’s bare branches to see if I they seemed soft, and still alive. I asked my gardener about it, and he said, “Yes, it’s fine.” But those same bare branches continued to torment me. Had I killed the tree? Was it still not in the right spot?
As I was leaving the gym one afternoon, that same fall, I saw a tree with leaves turning the same golden, yellowy red, and recognized instantly this tree as the same as the one in my front yard, the one I felt certain I had mishandled. Several of this same tree’s leaves had dropped to the ground below. My east coast roots had no trouble realizing that this tree, with its changing leaves and bed of fallen comrades, was, in fact, deciduous.
Last week, I pulled into my driveway to see the tree was back, suddenly, definitively, with a healthy crown of newly-sprouted leaves.
No bare branches any more.
Today is World Autism Awareness Day. In honor of the tree, very much alive, and what it taught me about patience, and how to look, I’m giving away a copy of My Baby Rides The Short Bus, a new anthology that offers fresh and wonderful insights into what it means to be the parent of a child with disabilities. Leave a comment and I’ll pick a name.
Comments 20
I have been honored to watch the season’s of this past almost 2 years,through your eyes.I have garnered strength of my very own,through your journey of patience and waiting and watching.Monday I send my baby to school for the first time.I wondered if that day would ever come.She’s ready.Me … not so much.The ride begins ….
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 7:51 am ¶It’s always a pleasure when I see your blog up at the top of the roll. I miss your posts and with this one, I realize just how miss. So beautiful!
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 8:03 am ¶Thanks Vicki, for that nice post.
I can see you, the tree, everything.
2 years already, unbelievable.
I wish you would come over to Europe again someday.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 9:33 am ¶xo
For some reason, you have brought me to tears this morning. What a beautiful post. (I have the book, already, it’s wonderful…)
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 9:33 am ¶Thank you for all the work you do to raise awareness about disabilities.
I love that tree.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 10:26 am ¶Cycles, cycles.
Beautiful post.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 10:27 am ¶Lovely.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 10:39 am ¶xo
I’m verklempt. Sending you love and can’t wait for pictures of the tree in full bloom. Signs indeed.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 12:06 pm ¶Oh, and I meant to drop you a note to thank you for the package which arrived last week. A thoughtful and unexpected surprise! xo
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 12:06 pm ¶Once again, a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing your talent and insight. I’ve decided that for me learning patience is a life long quest… not sure if I’ll ever master it.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 12:10 pm ¶I’m glad the tree is doing well. The tree I planted for my son has struggled the past two years, but I keep hoping it will hang on.
Posted 02 Apr 2010 at 6:54 pm ¶oh vicki – again, you hit me right in the heart.
your words are that tree .. they find their way to the fertile ground within all of us, then take root and grow. you’ve given off a forest full of blossoms out here, whether you know it or not.
Posted 03 Apr 2010 at 2:47 am ¶Very touching, Vicki. Nature has a way of making us aware of certain intangible things.
Posted 03 Apr 2010 at 4:52 pm ¶Lovely post Vicki. I too am routing for Evan’s tree.
Posted 03 Apr 2010 at 6:01 pm ¶(I have the book already — it’s terrific)
xo
Posted 04 Apr 2010 at 6:54 pm ¶Just wanted to give two thumbs up to My Baby Rides the Short Bus and Gravity Pulls You In. I own both, love both. In fact, I have purchased 3 copies of GPYI… one for a friend, and 2 for me after the first copy was stolen at work. Oh well, it went to a good home I hope.
Hope all is well Vicki! xoxoxox
Pia
Posted 06 Apr 2010 at 7:13 am ¶beautiful. i love that tree. xxx
Posted 07 Apr 2010 at 5:11 pm ¶This is so lovely, Vicki. Patience, indeed.
Posted 18 Apr 2010 at 12:20 pm ¶I am so excited to see you mention “My Baby Rides the Short Bus” Vicki!! I was honored to be among the writers chosen to participate, I hope whomever gets the book loves it as much as I did
Posted 26 Apr 2010 at 4:01 pm ¶Love this post and was reminded of it this afternoon. When Nick was a baby we bought 3 trees for our front yard, a red maple, a japanese maple and a dogwood. The dogwood has struggled, first we had too much sun until the red maple grew. Then a two years ago a pair of chipmunks dug tunnels in the roots and we were sure it was going to die. We filled in the holes, added extra fertilizer and water. This spring it bloomed for the first time and this year it is really thriving. The tree reminds me a lot of our Nick, he’s struggled but is really blooming right now.
Posted 26 May 2010 at 12:27 pm ¶Post a Comment