Today, after taking my daughter to school, I vacuumed. Last Thursday a dear friend came to do the same for me, after asking, “What can I do?” “Rumor has it you like to vacuum,” I replied, and after a laugh and the confession that we had now officially crossed a rather significant personal boundary, my friend did indeed vacuum my house for me. “Promise me you won’t make fun of my vacuum cleaner,” I said ahead of time, knowing my friend has a high class wonder (read Miele — “Anything Else Is A Compromise”) back at her place quite unlike the beat up Eureka Mighty Mite I’ve made work for me all these years. Indeed, when I corralled said vacuum from the garage, my friend said, in the nicest way, “Oh honey, we really do need to get you a new vacuum cleaner.”
Even so, my friend soldiered on and I followed suit with the Swiffer and Bona and soon the house was clean enough for the friends and family about to descend for the tributes and memorials planned in honor of Evan. Later that night, another dear friend asked, “What can we do? What can we do? Everyone wants to know what they can do for you” and I replied, off the top of my grief-stricken foolish head, “I don’t know, maybe you can all get together and buy me a Miele.”
Of course I was joking.
Fast foward half a week. Same Unbelievable Friend From Rhode Island sat in my house, having travelled three thousand miles and two days to be with us, and handed me a card signed by perhaps twenty or more (I did not count) dear, kind, wonderful and generous friends. And there, on the left hand side, was pasted a picture of this:
Being slow on the uptake, I felt certain that this same friend had applied her zany sense of humor to the world of condolence cards, and that I was meant to take solace in the lemony yellow of this German appliance. No, not quite. Further explanation revealed that my beautiful circle of friends had indeed pooled their resources to correct the original wrong: goodbye Might Mite, hello Miele.
Can I just say, “thank you”?
My living room, cleaner than it has ever been. And Josie Girl, posing with the most miraculous gift:
Comments 25
Ha! KA has a wacky sense of humor, and an inspired sense of appropriateness. I wish you sparkly floors, reduced allergens, and peace, my friend.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 3:06 pm ¶I’ve been following your blog and other posts about Even since I heard such lovely things about you and the Special Needs panel at BlogHer. just wanted to say sorry, and what a lovely and touching post – I am glad you have such good friends.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 3:15 pm ¶It’s a work of art appliance for a heart of gold. You deserve it.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 3:22 pm ¶Talk about FRIENDS. Talk about perfect. And know that you gave them almost as much of a gift in giving them the opportunity do something–because in times like these, we all want to DO SOMETHING–as they gave you.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 4:22 pm ¶I’ve heard of those! Maybe after I get a new car and we fix the roof!
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 4:23 pm ¶Wow, what a miraculous support group you have!
I have to admit that I do find solace in cleaning the house. Not only does it give me something relatively easy to keep busy with, but then I end up with a lovely house, too. Now while you are looking for your solace, your friends will be right behind you picking up the pieces, both literally AND metaphorically!
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 4:55 pm ¶It’s remarkable what good, close friends you have, and how their presence has helped to keep you near to the here and now.
I wish I could do more; it was all I could do to show up.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 5:27 pm ¶all i did was wave the many circling planes in for a landing. because they all were there, waiting and wanting to show you how much you are loved and how much Evan will be missed.
xxx
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 5:58 pm ¶xo~
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 6:03 pm ¶(I’ll let Andrew know – he LOVES to vacuum!)
We are soooo grateful you didn’t want the washing machine!
BTW, do you know that miele is also Italian for honey, sweetness, and yellow (I think of it as sunshine!). All the things you have given us and all that we wish for you and your family! xoxoxo
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 6:22 pm ¶I am so happy that you like it! It is also wonderful to see the big smile on your daughter in the photo.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 6:35 pm ¶I’m so glad you like it. I hope you love yours as much as I love mine. But DAMN, girl, do I wish mine was that beautiful yellow.
(And DAMN is Josie cute posing with it!)
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 6:50 pm ¶Wishing you sunshine, honey, and clean floors.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 7:40 pm ¶A vacuum.An inanimate object. But in it’s workings lie the very real tears,the helpless feelings,the heartbeats and most importantly the deep love of those,your dear friends. Who I am sure wish that this simple token could somehow sweep away all the heartache. Impossible, so instead they do what they can.Not enough in their eyes but often the little acts viewed by one become the most touching, profound gesture to another. A testament to what your family obviously means to them. May that love continue to be you salvation.
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 7:43 pm ¶YOU have beautiful friends, a beautiful family and a beautiful home. (Lisa, coming back for more, as always.) xo~
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 7:56 pm ¶Following up on what Niksmom wrote, yes, “mel” is Latin for “honey” (!!!!!).
I like my dustbuster but it’s the vacuuming—just sucking up all those dust particles, cracker crumbs, and debris—-that helps
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 11:24 pm ¶sorry, just remembered you and Classics and the meaning of “mel”—-
Posted 01 Aug 2008 at 11:26 pm ¶Ditto everyone – it feels so good to “do” something, and now when you vacuum you will be reminded just how much you are loved.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 6:40 am ¶And a candle is lit, to help chase away some of the darkness.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 7:12 am ¶Nice!
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 8:06 am ¶What wonderful loving friends you have.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 10:49 am ¶May the world show you some peace today.
What a great read on friendship. Nice pics of the living room and your daughter.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 11:06 am ¶Those photos made me smile, a lot. Sending love …
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 3:42 pm ¶I just clicked through from 5 Minutes for Mom. I may not know you but my heart aches for you and I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 7:08 pm ¶Love and prayers from an Internet friend.
Posted 02 Aug 2008 at 10:59 pm ¶Post a Comment